October 18, 2017
ATTENDANCE: Vicki White, Rose Mary Thompson, Jenny Delos Santos, Dawn Casey, Gail Baugniet, Iwalani Isabel, Gordon Noice, Kent Reinker, Carol Catanzariti, Scott Kikkiwa and Lizbeth Hart
Speaker Gordon Noice: is a practicing minister in Honolulu. Grew up in the 60s and 70s in Winter Park, Florida. Biography – two decades of acting, including NYPD Blues and Phoenix. He spent seven years as a stunt performer at Walt Disney Co. theme parks as well as in various roles in Florida and France, doing everything from robbing banks, stagecoaches to fighting Indiana Jones on an airplane. In the 1980s he entertained as a DJ in the prominent central Florida disco. He has worked in theatre since age 10 as a writer, actor, producer and director. He is currently engaged in staring in a one-man play that will tour the U.S. in 2018. Noice’s father began “The Last Laugh is Free,” and Gordon completed the work several years after his death.
Adopted from birth and was told around six years old. My parents told me. My adopted parents were Ivy League, country club wanting me to go into law or medical school. I began to search for biological parents, when 25-28 years old.
I worked at Disney on the Indiana Jones stunt show. I got out of my car in the parking lot one day and saw this lovely woman walking straight at me. She approached and we locked eyes and she introduced herself as my sister. She had friends who had younger brother and sisters who were my circle of friends. I discovered my biological mother lived less than five miles away.
My adoptive and birth mothers became very good friends. My birth parents divorced My birth mothers father decided to have his daughter give up her child when she gave birth…without her consent. When his daughter woke up from the delivery, he (Gordon) was gone. This sent my mother into alcoholism.
My biological father had moved from Houston back to central Florida, 3 miles from me. My sister said he was open to meeting Gordon. It was wonderful to meet him, He began the book , “The Last Laugh is Free.” It’s his story as a teenager growing up in the north side of Chicago, which in the 40s and 50s is a rough side. He was in a gang. He and the gang pimped prostitutes. And, there were all these servicemen that were based near the Great Lakes. These guys would get drunk and look for prostitutes. He got caught trying to take money from an Army guy and went into a small juvenile detention over there.
My biological father beat his stepfather up, and was sentenced to five years in hard labor, Raiford; a tough place. He spent three years in road game, met his mentor which helped change his life. The picture on the cover is an actual picture from 1955 from Raiford prison, and the guy looks like my biological father. My biological dad (Clark) got sick, in 1997, he developed throat cancer. And, they started radiation treatment. He had been a three pack cigarette smoker for a long time.
In October 1999 my sister calls and tells me he’s in the hospital on oxygen, and they think he’s going to pass in a couple of weeks. So, I go to Florida. We spent 18 hours up together and talked story. But, I had to go back to LA. Before I left, I promised that I would finish the book. He died on New Years Eve in 1999.
April 2015…I promised that I would get the book ready for an editor to look at it by Nov. 2015. And I did. The book has a lot of strong language in it. That’s the way it is. A lot of the men have been sexually, physically, mentally and spiritually used. It’s tough in there.
I used Amazon/Create Space to publish. It is also on Kindle. Ideally, I want to have a quarter million of copies of this book in prison for a couple of reasons:
Once they are done reading it, and they realize they aren’t alone in what they are experiencing….maybe they’ll convince their kids not to make the same mistakes that they did.
It’s a great tool for literacy. It speaks their language. It’s not above them or speaking down to them.
Even though this book was in the 1950s, the prison system is even more broken then it is now. We have 10% of the U.S. population in jail and for a non-violent crime? What’s going on? It’s a business. It’s corporation. The prison these days are publically held corporations. They have board of directors and stockholders.
Here’s the good news. You’re not a victim. You are a survivor. You’re a victor because you got through it. Now, what are you going to do with it? Realize that resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
SISTERS in CRIME
MAYORS ARTS & CRAFT SHOW:
Who is going?
Ideas to promote SinC
Anyone want to do a wreath
We ae responsible for clean up
We must bring our own signs (12 x 18 min”)
No sales transacted before 9am
SinC must handle sales – not individuals.
No taping things to poles
Set up is at 07:30 for clubs working personnel only (6 max)
We will have 3 chairs provided
HOLIDAY LUNCHEON: Hawaii Fiction Writers luncheon is planned for Saturday, Nov. 18, at Assaggio Kahala, at 11:30 a.m. They will meet at the Aina Haina Library before that, from 10 to 11:15. Our guests will be the winners of HFW's first Short Story Contest for college and high school students, who will be reading their winning stories. Should be a good program and please invite everyone who wants to join us there. We are invited. Please RSVP.
GOOD BOOK COVERS: Warmer colors work best for fiction, dark blue conveys a functional message, while brown suggests an air of high quality in this context. Maintain a careful balance between suspense and insight. The picture should be uncluttered, but detailed enough to entice the reader. The human eye naturally tracks visuals in a Z pattern - this layout is best represented with text across the top and bottom. The image should be framed in the middle at a slight angle. Although symmetrical layouts are also appealing to the human eye, they don’t naturally stand out.
Words @ Manoa Annual Writing Conference 9 a.m.-2:50 p.m. on Nov. 19 at: Campus Center -- 2465 Campus Road --- Executive Dining Room ---Honolulu
Gail gave out letters last month for a fundraiser for the Makiki Community Library. The website if you want to donate is: https://www.paypal.me/MakikiLibrary.
The meeting ended at 8:12 p.m.
TEN EDITING POINTS:
Eliminate Filter Words –“Julie looked out the window and saw a small dog. She realized that the sight of it made her feel happy.” Examine every paragraph and cut these types of filtering words out of your writing. Consider instead: “A small dog appeared outside Julie’s window and she swelled with happiness.”
Eliminate Filler Actions - Good writing only becomes great writing by investing your time and energy into improving it. “Jim turned to Sally and smiled. She nodded and then sighed.”
Stop Starting and Beginning - “He started to clean his gun while she began to look for ammo.” Stop having characters start or begin to do things in your writing. Just do them. "He cleaned his gun while she looked for ammo."
Eliminate Repeated Words Analyze Each Verb
Examine each verb and ask yourself, “Is this the right verb for this sentence?” Many times we describe an action thinking we know exactly what a certain verb means, but end up getting it wrong. When our character ambles across the parking lot, do we mean that she ‘walks without a particular route in mind’ or that she is walking ‘at a slow or relaxed pace’. The former is ramble, and the latter is amble.
Submerging the I or Killing the S/he - If you're writing in first person, read Chuck Palahniuk’s article on Submerging the I. Then attack your story and remove as many I's as possible. If you're writing in third person, avoid falling into the trap of having every other sentence start with he or she.
Eliminate Pet Words - This one can be tricky to catch without a fresh set of eyes to edit your piece. We don't even notice them. They're the little insignificant words but aren't necessary. Just is a great example. "He just laid there without moving." Other prime suspects are seemed, still, even, almost, and ever.
Cut Subtle Redundancies - "She sat down, then stood up and waved her hand while she blinked her eyes." Your writing should be lean and mean. "Julia was enraged at the decision. She screamed at Michael, than trashed her apartment." Her actions show us she's enraged, so you don't need to tell us beforehand.
Eliminate Hyper-Description of Action - "Jim walked across the room and reached for the brass doorknob with his left hand. He turned it and pulled the door toward himself. Then he walked through into the adjoining room." I'm not kidding. I see this type of thing. You can say what you need to say in six words: "Jim walked into the next room." The worst culprit is when characters are traveling somewhere and the writer feels compelled to describe every turn in the journey.
Read It Aloud - The whole thing, not just the dialogue. Pretend you're standing at a podium in front of a crowd at your first major appearance after your piece has been published and belt it out. visit